A persons a person no matter how brown.

August 29, 2005 I was learning to drive trucks. I was driving all over the midwest, all over the south with a trainer. We watched as convoys of black vehicles with tinted windows and Army vehicles headed south in the days after the storm. At the time my goal was not killing us while I drove. My focus was on paying the bills that had been piling up and surviving my first few months out in a world I knew nothing about. While I was trying to keep myself together in the truck 20,000 plus people of all colors shapes and sizes were waiting for food, water and rescue. I could sit here and try to write without bringing race or class into it like some reporters and politicians have tried to do but i'm just not that hopeful. There is not a bone in my body that can be convinced that if the majority of people in need of saving had been white and rich, that they would have starved and been left in third world conditions for one day let alone 5 days.

After spending the last few months watching and learning about the past and present New Orleans I have learned that despite my tough bitter exterior I somehow maintain hope that the have nots will some day win over those pesky haves. I have received some very suprising feedback on my hope for the culture of New Orleans to not be lost with all that has happened. I've had friends and family tell me that moving there and trying to help in the rebuilding process would be pointless, that these people don't want help and even that they are nasty people who should not be helped. These are the combined words of several different people who I have grown up with, who have raised me and who despite their lack of hope, I still love.

The compassion and understanding that we lack as a country is an ever festering American disease. We watch bad things happen and move on as quickly as can be to the feel good stories about the puppies saved by Sarah Mclachlin, we turn the TV off for the real news because we are too sensitive or too senseless to know that if it could happen there it could happen anywhere. This week broadcasters, journalist, media, American media, chose to look at the good things that are happening now and some looked back at the past and others chose to go with the feel good stories of hope and rebuilding. The fact is they steered clear of the anger and the frustration, they steered clear of race and class and the pink elephants trampling all over these stories. These stories left out the people who still have not been able to go home, barely touched the true crime of tainted FEMA trailers and plans for less public housing, less affordable homes, the lack of reasonable insurance payouts, the simple things like the rise in homelessness due to the rise in rents, the jobs and schools, these are the details that don't make Americans want to watch. What people in the media and in control seem to be missing is that anyone paying attention knows that for every shiny good thing, for every sparkly piece of hope and spirit that these people have there are ten more things that need help, hope and serious attention. We are living in a time where knowledge is more powerful than ever but less desired by the moment and less retained by the hour.

For every person who wants to know there are twenty who are too busy focusing on their bills their needs and their survival to even consider that anyone may have it worse. It keeps me up at night knowing that now I see and if I do nothing I become the ignorance that I've grown to hate. It breaks my heart to know that in my lifetime there are not only racist people but there are people who truly believe that there is no racism involved in something like the days after Katrina. Rational people with common sense and good hearts who believe any one of many lies we tell ourselves to make tragedies into the victims problem, to make it ok to live with ourselves. The people of New Orleans may have been mean and ornery, rude and tough but the truth we try so hard to ignore is poverty. These people did not have the ability to evacuate for various reasons but I'm willing to bet the majority of them were using public transportation. The difference between New Orleans and Detroit is that when things get tough in Detroit people leave. Things get tough in New Orleans and people stick it out, at times clearly to their own peril. The poor of any city are going to be tough, they are going to be angry and they are going to fight harder than most to survive. I do not believe that the people of Detroit could have survived a disaster like Katrina and I don't believe that as a country we are truly so lacking in compassion that we truly believe it is acceptable to throw away our poor. I do believe that we have given up our belief in community, our faith in one another and our fighting spirit. As a country we've sold our souls for the money, forgotten our dreams and lost our voices along the way. Everyone in this country could learn so much about living if we just took a moment and followed the lead of the people and culture of New Orleans.

There is hope for all of us in the spirit of New Orleans and this week as you eat your meals, take your showers, use a bathroom or just go home, try to think about how you would have lived through their tragedies. Consider you have no car, no transportation and the mayor tells you there is a mandatory evacuation, think what you would do while the city shut down its public transportation, parked its busses and left you behind. Ponder the thought of your government, your emergency aid, your army not noticing 10,000 or so people in one place and 20,000 in another, despite the numerous helicopters flying over them, the news coverage and the unmistakeable need for help. Imagine being told to turn around after reaching a bridge into the next city, being told by men with guns that you are not welcome because with you, come other starving, smelly, needy people. Imagine the stench of waiting five days while people around you died, waiting for food and water that can be air dropped to third world countries across the globe in two days. Think about how you would survive this knowing your home, your community and your family may never be the same. Think how you would feel if you were shipped off to some random strange city to be left no way home whether you had a home to go to or not. Be grateful that you have not lived their tragedy but be mindful of the lesson their spirit, their community and their tradition of survival teaches. Remember how fortunate you are to have the means to leave if you had too and remember those who could not.

A little kindness goes a long way in both bad times and good. The storm may have passed but the damage is not near finished and as we watch stories about Pakistan and Haiti lets not forget our own people trying to survive our own tragedies, lets lead by example and make some effort to keep our eyes, hearts and minds open. This is America and if we cannot give our own people the chance to have things back the way their community wants, the way they were or better, based upon the needs of the community instead of the wants of the few, what does that say about how we, help others. If it could happen to New Orleans, LA it could happen to Bridgeport, CT or Charlotte, NC or Detroit, MI and if you don't think it could happen to you, take a look at your elected officials, thank them keep paying attention and be sure to vote next time around.

Wooden horses and lighthouses.

Atlanta, Austin, New Orleans, San Francisco, Hoka Minnesota,Savannah, they're all places, places I've been, places I haven't been. All places I will live, all places I need to experience. Everyone has destinations, dreams, hopes and plans they'd like to see happen someday. The thing about someday is someday never just comes. Someday takes more than a daydream or a manic episode, it takes a plan and the focus and drive to act on that plan. John Lennon said "Life is what happens while you're making other plans.", we have all experienced this and know it to be an accurate observation. It's a fair warning that plans like rules are meant to be questioned, challenged, forgotten, faulty and broken. Faith, hope, experience, perseverence and wisdom are major contributors to the completion of any plan big or small. The plans we make, the dreams we have are all possible if we commit to kicking the roadblocks down. The world is filled with people who turn around at the sight of a road block and never venture to look back. There are others of us that maybe not the first time, maybe not the fifth time but eventually we will power on through the roadblock and take the path we planned despite the unknown. I've made as many roadblocks as I've knocked over and I'm sure to make and find plenty more along the way, but eventually they all come down.

I've had a million different plans over the years, some more ridiculous and outlandish than others but the ones that have happened and the ones that will happen are generally planned well in advance. The plans of the past have taught me well, to plan better, to be prepared for glitches and to watch for signs, literally and figuratively. I've spent most of my short life planning escapes into dreams out of realities and out of dreams into realities. I have no doubt that when I'm old and gray, rotting away in the old folks home, I will have the best stories. I know what it looks like out there in the world outside of Connecticut and I have no intention of leaving without a little more than I came back with last time, but I have every intention of leaving. For now the plan is simple, finish this ten year associates degree, spend as much time with the people I love as possible, move to New Orleans, learn some shit, help some people, live a little and love some more. Is this easy or perfect or what you'd want to do? No way. Is this what I'm going to do? More or less, yes.

The thing is most people don't consider that they really can be the firefighter or the cowboy, the nurse or the teacher, the astronaut or the rockstar. For most people the child they were turns into the adult they never wanted to be and thats the end of dreams. Everything I wanted to do when I was ten, I've done and 17 years from now I want to be able to say everything I wanted for myself at 27, I've accomplished. No ones life is easy and nothing worth having comes easily but everything we want is possible if we just remember ourselves. I don't always know where I'm going exactly, or when I'll get there but if I really want to go anywhere in life, I'll go. There will always be setbacks, there are no smooth rides and there are no easy out buttons, but the possibility for someday to become next year, next month, next week or tomorrow is much closer to real than most people seem to realize anymore. I've spent some time without a plan, stepped into the drone shoes and drank the koolaid for awhile and now more than ever I know that is not who I am meant to be. Sometimes knowing who you aren't is enough to keep you kicking through roadblocks and gasping for air. I'm not walking up all these stairs just to walk back down, I'm gonna brave the rain, step outside and love the view from the top. Are you?

Meghanomics 101

Over the last few weeks of silence I've completed my algebra requirements, spent some time partying and sleeping away my unemployement depression and now I'm pissed off again and ready to write. I'll begin with a little math and then maybe we can move on to some sociology. Get some milk and cookies, unbutton your pants and get relaxed, I've got alot to cover and I don't want you wandering.

There are approximately 310 million people in this country, about 30 percent of these people are not of a "working" age, and 20 percent of these people are currently unemployed and recieving some kind of aid, 2 percent are exceedingly wealthy and we'll say a hopeful 13 percent of Americans are living in poverty. Now for the moment lets pretend all of these are completely proven facts. Giving some overlap room to unemployed and poverty stricken Americans lets say 40 percent of the American people are somehow surviving, 2 percent are tax free and loving it and 43 percent should be severely pissed off right now. 10 percent are going to die before it matters and well why should they care, we've given them no reason to.

By any and all descriptions of majority rule the severely pissed off should be kicking asses and taking names by now, so where are the fuck are we America? Oh did Jersey Shore start a new season? Did Bethany finally get married and are John and Kate officially divorced? Oh wait Kourtney Kardashian passed out after excessively exercising for that post baby bikini shoot, let me get my medical book and we can all figure out what she could have done better. WHAT THE FUCK! News reporters have apparently given up on reporting actual news and I actually saw a report yesterday on a legit political topic (Anthony Weiner, NY representative blowing up over 9/11 bill going unpassed despite majority in favor) where the reporter rather than risk having a mind of her own or simply researching the actual topic, she stated she didn't know the particulars of the bill and had no idea what Anthony Weiner was screaming about and it was "Such a turn off". Susan B. Anthony is flailing around in her grave right now. All the pretty make up and perky tits don't put a brain in your head Miss Perino. This is not a dignified or graceful time in our great country please take your charm school head out of the sand or get ready to become extinct with the rest of the weak.

Its not just fox news giving you the finger America its all media thats treating you like kittens with catnip and strings to keep you busy while the dog is in the kitchen eating your food. Multitasking looks great on a resume, ability to do a million things at once is the new American dream both at home and work, but what are we really retaining of what we see? Pictures of movie stars are selling at prices that would keep me comfortable for a year maybe two but we are hard pressed to get a current valid picture of what the oil is doing to the gulf coast. Fisherman helping with cleanup or living in coastal communities are not only being told "oh too bad, must have been something you ate or sprayed or breathed in that has nothing to do with BP." but they're also being given the old "check is in the mail" story. Meanwhile the majority of the country is talking about Lyndsay and ooh what's Snookie gonna do this season? Wake the fuck up, how is the most talked about thing about the Presidents interview on the View, the fact that he doesn't know who Snookie is? No one should know who she is! She is a distraction from the reality of where we are as a people and we buy it hook line and sinker.

I find it painful, to believe that the people of this country would rather remain numb and dazzled by overtanned unrealistic plastic people than stand up for the rights many before us fought decades to gain. Political leaders are building our country to suit their needs rather than ours and our childrens. 97 percent of us will never be in the top 2 percent, we will never stand to lose by taxing the overwhelmingly wealthy and we will never stand to gain by hiding big businesses immense fuck ups. The gulf coast could use some paparazzi, so can the 9/11 first responders, the unemployed, the under-insured and the impoverish Americans. Get out your cameras people this is not going to be your grandparents revolution, there will be shouting there will be screaming and with even half of the majority getting off their asses there will be progress.