Pancakes and life, Installment one.

No one ever wakes up excited to go to work in customer service. Anyone who tells ya different is a complete and utter liar. Personally, I feel that particular species of bullshitters should either be publicly tarred and feathered or given a best actor award by SAG, realistically we all know those are the douche bags that either end up being the boss or we imagine these jackasses accidentally murder themselves during really kinky sex with themselves on a Tuesday in May and no one finds the body till the cats start bringing fingers out and the smell of rotting flesh gets to be too much for Mildred down the block sometime in August.~ What? Like you never imagined what Creepy Cassandra in cubicle 426 was like at home? The point is these people are sad inside.
                               The reason I bring this up? Well, I've spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing. This applies to pretty much every aspect of my life. Out of lets say, 50 of the major sub-categories to the heading "Life~ and what I'm doing with it." I've managed to narrow down only a handful of basic points. None of which including : Love my customer service job because it's magically delicious! Honestly, I feel that some people, not all, but some, really believe customer service is the most awesome work ever. These people are fucking dumb, not only for setting their standards so low but for their irritating attempts to convince the rest of us that we should feel goddamned great about the work we do. Every office has some of these people, these people are obnoxious and we all know at least one.
 I'm not saying I'm not glad I have a job but at no point in my life will I ever be caught saying :
 "Gee, I really love my customer service job. I get paid so well to be shat upon every day by dumbasses. I'm going to spend 30 years doing this, I just love it so much."
Never gonna happen, not now, not ever.  I have come full circle to the realization that I do love that I have a job. I love that I am nearing the final stages of demolition to the house of cards that is debt. I love that this job will get me through to my bachelors degree in a matter of 3 years if I can just stick to the plan and not fuck up.

 Not fuck up. Not fuck up is where things begin to get shaky, not only in this aspect but in many aspects of my life, a life, any life. For now, we'll stick to the job category. What does it mean to not fuck up? In simplest terms it means don't piss of the customers, don't piss off the co-workers, and certainly don't piss off the bosses. This means all the time, not a fraction of the time but all the time. This shit is hard work, like a job within the job, but ok, I'll try. Yoda said something about trying once, that dude clearly never worked customer service because there are times where doing the whole, don't piss off the customer thing is hard and there are even other times when that shit is absolutely impossible, the customer was born pissed off. I digress, sub-category number one : Job : What am I doing? Loving that I have one. Not pissing anyone off, taking care of business.

Awesome, one aspect down, plenty more to go, what about school? All the cool kids are doing it right? How do I do that without going back into debt, without losing my job and without deviating from this degree in 3 years plan? Set yourself up, take care of business, stay in Cuntecticunt, get a cheap bachelors and splurge on that Doctorate later, when I can afford it. Well this all seems reasonable, logical even, where's the catch? Stay. Just the word makes my little black gypsy heart stiffen.Stay, in one place, accept it in the interest of moving forward. Seems simple enough until you factor in my gypsy, my undying desire to keep moving in the most literal of senses, must be kept in check for this to work. Apparently a student who moves around a lot, is not the best student. I want to be the best student, I have this thing about failure so its time to keep it in perspective. Keeping it simple comes back to not fucking up, not fucking up in this case means, Stay in one place for a while, not one state, one place.

                      Seems simple, but nothing in life is simple. I had little girl dreams as a child, most girls dream of pony's and shit, I dreamed of getting the fuck out of here. I love my family each and every munchkin that calls me auntie, and the people that sit at my table, but we all have lives and eventually I will get my big adventure filled life. For the next three years its this apartment, work, school, munchkins.To me this is the most long term planning I've ever done aside from dreaming I would get the fuck out of here and I have to be honest, this shit is scary. The bright side is it gives me plenty of materiel for this blog and pages of worthless drivel for my epic novel about nothing...which is sweet because that shit will be EPIC.