Two boats and a Tarantino film in the making...

There's a story, or maybe its a joke, my mom tells. I'm probably going to butcher it, I'll do my best not to, but since I'm telling it I'm also gonna do it my way...

A man is on a roof after a bad storm because his city had flooded, he's praying for god (or as I call him Jeebus), to save him, and a boat comes by. The people in the boat say "Hey, Guy, jump down get in, lets go!" The man say's "No, it's cool you don't have much room in there, I'll be ok, save some women and children and such. God Jeebus will save me!" The folks in the boat argue a bit but eventually say ok and move on. The water is still rising and the man is still prayin on the roof when the next boat comes by. They have a few seats and the waters so high he can walk right in off the roof. Once again the people in the boat invite him in and once more the man says "No, Jeebus will save me!", and the boat floats on. Now it's getting dark and the man is clinging close to the chimney as the waters continue to rise, he hears a loud noise coming closer and then out of the sky, directly above him comes a bright light, its a bird, its a plane, JEEBUS HIMSELF? Nope a helicopter, from wich a rope ladder drops and a man on a microphone yells, "Hey, Hey you there, on the chimney, in the red suit, with the white trim, grab the ladder,you'll drown down there! GET TO THE CHOPPA, ITS THE ONLY WAY OOOOOUUUUT." The man clings tighter to the chimney shaking his head no and yelling something about some guy by the name Jeebus coming to pick him up with some other guy named Rudolph. Finally the copter has to go, and they do, leaving the crazy man to drown on the chimney.
The man gets to heaven after some screaming and flailing and demands to see god. God says to herself, and all the Angels, ~Well, this, I have got to hear, send this dude in. She nudges the Angel to her right and says watch this, and turns herself into Samuel L. Jackson, cuz come on what's not funny about that! The man looks at her and like a true american says, "God, Jeebus, I knew you were black! Seriously though? What the fuck? Why have you forsaken me? Why did you let me drown out there?!!!?" With this, God stands, laughing, she holds his face in her hands and says, as only Samuel L. Jackson could, "MOTHAFUCKA, I sent you TWO  BOATS and a mothafuckin HELICOPTER, If you think I was gettin in that water myself, you were sadly mistaken. I don't fuckin swim!" She laughs and the angels laugh and she hugs the man and they all laugh and eat cake and that's that.

 I guess the point is different in some way for every circumstance and every person. I mean I'm not much for Jeebus but I can definitely appreciate more and more as I grow, how important it is to keep your eyes and mind open. If at any point the man had thought outside the box of his expectation, he might not have drowned. Life  changes every day. We make decisions based on expectations, based on lies, lies other people tell us, lies we tell ourselves. That man told himself god would save him, to the point he actually believed the sky would open and god would carry him to dry ground. Instead he got a prankster in the sky. It wasn't what he expected. The boats, the helicopter he didn't accept those and he didn't expect to see the pearly gates or Mr Jackson that day, but shit happens. If he'd had the chance for a do over, I bet the man would have hopped right in the first boat, said thanks, and been livin high off the insurance money to a ripe old age. But life is short, we don't always get second chances and I'd rather see Tarantino do a short film of my AMAZING version of this story. My point? If ya miss the boat, please for Sams sake, get to the choppa people, it's the only way out!