Four simple things in this bitch before...

Recently, I've been examining my life in a million different ways. Looking at what I want, where I've been and who I've become. I've discovered some shit and uncovered other shit, I'm ever a work in progress. Over the last few weekends I've danced more, lived more and done more than I had in awhile. My house is cleaner than it's been since the summer began and my life is getting itself together. The other night I went out with a friend and this girl from out of town I'd never met, she was a nice girl, talked a lot but nice none the less.We ended up going to see this guy I know play piano requests at this bar. At the end of the night I was taking her home and she was drunk, not that obnoxious drunk some girls get but ya know the honest and funny drunk.She said to me after a night of dancing, "I wish I could be like that, dance like that." The statement struck me funny, and I thought and I think even said, - what like a crazy person, like no one's watching, like I don't give a shit? - I don't though, not really and man did i have a good time. At another point on the way home she asked something about how they knew my name, but she was drunk and kept calling me Maggie so it took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about. She thought it was neat that the Bartender and The Piano Man both knew my name. Now, I've known the piano player a few years and even had an adventure or two with him since we met, he always says hello to me and I to him. He's a goddamned amazing musician as are many people I've met along the way but that's how I know him, a good guy who makes sweet music and always says hello. The bartender, I'm pretty sure she reads the names off the cards people give her when they start a tab and she calls you by name to remember what tab shes adding to. I thought about what this vibrant and drunk out of towner was saying to me and briefly considered the events of the evening and responded to her with a laugh and told her that if you're good to people they're generally good to you.

I believe that. I also believe it's a matter of choosing cautiously who to be good to. There are people in all of our lives we can't explain, people we love without really trying or even wanting too. We love anyways. I think I've mentioned it before on here but I'm a sucker for homeless people, If there's change in my pocket and they have a good sign, every penny is theirs. When I was younger I remember a trip to New York where my grandmother got upset with me because I wanted to give a man my change. It wasn't much, I was a kid but the man was hungry. I didn't know then but there was a lesson on that moment. You choose who you are, just about as much as the people around you mold who you are. If I didn't set some boundaries and slim down some of my criteria for handing my change over to every homeless or hungry person I'd be broke by now. A good sign, a little trust and a whole lot of faith will get you anything I can give ~ without going to the poor house myself. I choose to see the good in people but not forget the bad. I've never met a person who won't show you their bad within 10 minutes of meeting them. It's just a matter of being willing to accept and acknowledge it. If you can't do both, they probably don't need to be in your life.

 I'm on the verge of big changes, the kind of changes that give broken wing dreams a whole new chance to heal and get strong again. Change takes forever though, so in the meantime I'm just trying to keep my head above water. I'm on this renewed mission to be better, to just go with the flow, to dance more, to fuck what people think and just keep taking care of me and mine, to enjoy every moment with the people in my life who want to be in my life. That's the point, the meaning of life, enjoy it. Be good to people, acknowledge who you are accepting into your life. Dance, regularly and say hello once in awhile, you'd be surprised how far that shit will get you, and if all else fails, fall back on ~fuck bitches, get money~, Seriously though...