At what age do we lose our desire to be grown ups? Is it different for everyone or is it generally around the same point for most of us? I don't know that I would go back if given the option. If at age 8, I had known the kind of things there would be to look forward to I'd like to think I'd have taken an extra moment or two to enjoy it. The reality is we all grew up at different stages. At 8 years old some of us knew we wanted out of our parents house and to be on our own and maybe at 28 some of us still haven't reached that point for one reason or another. Over the last 9 years I've moved approximately 12 times, I'm not great at stayin in one place for too long. As a kid I only remember moving twice in 18 years. My parents weren't gypsies and we always knew where home was. Now as an adult I feel my next move coming and i'm hoping this time I find a place I can know as home for a little while longer than the last few.
Earlier this evening my 8 year old goddaughter said to me that she could not wait to be in the double digits, she is only a year and 5 months away from this exciting change over. As she said this a vision of her as a baby flashed into my head. She changed the course of my life in a way only a new life can and now here she is going on about the landmark age of 10. As we sat there eating our Friendley's dinner, way past her bedtime and reminiscing about how tiny her feet used to be and what happened the day she discovered I was a different color than her, I could still see her as the sunshine blonde baby who opened my eyes for the first time. She is by far, the most beautiful thing in my world and I'm wishing I could tell her every important thing she'll need to know before she gets to double digits and before she gets to adult. I'm hoping to she never has to feel the things her mother and I have or know the things that have made us who we are. I am not unaware that I cannot protect her or her sister and brother from knowing all growing pains but I dare to dream that they're spared by the scars of lifes bigger bumps and scrapes. It is impossible to know with a look what some one else has been through with any certainty but at 8 we think everyone is just the same as we are, by thirteen we know that is not the case and by 26 I find myself considering who I would be if I'd just listened to my Aunts and Uncles everytime they'd said "Enjoy it while it lasts kid!". We grow so very quickly at times, its hard not to want to stop the growth for just one really good moment and savor the feelings of childhood. Remember for just a minute how nice it was to live and play and learn with a childs eyes, remember someone else having the responsibility and your biggest worry being how to stay up late without anyone noticing. Consider what your life might be if you cherished each moment now with an adults knowledge and a childs eyes. Suddenly I feel an urge to write out thank you notes to all the aunts and uncles who tried to warn me, Perhaps it can wait, cartoon network is calling my name...
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